Avian Lovers Anonymous
by Ariaeris
Summary: Gathering together, seven of the stronget warriors on Tellius came to discuss, among other things, just how they managed to get hitched, willingly or not, to a bunch of birds. Bird Laguz/Lovers. Het, Yaoi, Yuri. FE10


Hello, Fire Emblem fandom! Welcome to another Ariaeris production!

First of all, let's get this out of the way: _A Moment of Mercy _is not abandoned. I know it has been over two months, and I do apologize, but life is hectic as we all know. Fanfiction is not my first priority in any way. True, writing AMoM is one of my favorite hobbies, but that's just it: it's a hobby. For some people, fanfiction is a serious exercise of their abilities as a writer in the hopes that they will some day be able to use those talents to become professional writers.

I am not one of those people. If need be, I will not write in order to focus on things such as schoolwork, my job, and even college applications, which are lingering ominously in my future. That does not mean that I will abandon any of my works though; just because they are not of critical importance to me does not mean that they are worthless. I will never abandon anything; not my work here, my work in real life, or anything else. I know people enjoy AMoM, and I would hope that I would never disappoint them as horribly as I would by discontinuing it.

That said, I needed to write something mostly carefree and not as serious as AMoM. And so, I had this niggling little plunny which I decided to let flourish. I hope you all enjoy it and its not-two-month-long update gap!

Thanks!

Ariaeris~

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Warnings: Het, Yaoi, Yuri, Inanity, Insanity, Canon-breakage, Bad Humor, and so much more...

Pairings (In order of addressing): Nailah/Rafiel, Soren/Reyson, Janaff/Lucia, Ulki/Rhys, Tibarn/Ike, Naesala/Sanaki, Elincia/Leanne

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**Avian Lovers Anonymous**_

_Chapter 1: "My name is X."_

_I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. _

_- Hunter S. Thompson_

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a particularly lovely day in Crimea when the meeting that had been set to occur two weeks prior convened; Crimea thanks to its reputation as a mediator-country and a pleasant day because, after all was said and done, the participants would most likely not be so pleasant themselves.

"This," Ike said, waving a hand around the room, both amused and annoyed gazes following the gesture. "Is absolutely stupid."

Many agreed, but Elincia stood from her throne, a polite but slightly dismayed smile plastered on her refined face, and greeted the group. "Welcome, all, to Crimea castle." There were a few snorts at the polite necessities (mainly from Ike, who was still a little pissed at having to take time from his random wanderings to join a support group), but Elincia trudged on bravely.

"We are all here for a very important reason (Queen Nailah joined Ike in disdainful gestures, with a silent mocking smirk instead of a snort), which has been a source of great stress and discomfort for us all. It is my hope that together, we can all support one another in these trying times and with all our future personal difficulties."

Elincia flopped down quite regally on her throne, resting her face in her hand. Goddess, all that false cheer had taken a lot out of her.

Sitting on the floor in front of her thrown, Ike gave his umpteenth snort of the day. Empress Sanaki, which was sitting on a marble throne of her own that she had managed to have imported from Begnion, glared at the blue-haired swordsman. Hero or nor, she was getting a little annoyed with him; she didn't want to be here anymore than anyone else, but at least she had the common decency to be polite in public (especially in the face of so many members of royalty). Then again, Ike didn't have a reputation for being oblivious to the very definition of decorum for no reason.

The young empress looked around the room, her bored gaze lingering on a few she knew better than others. Sitting in a vague semicircle was Queen Elincia, her loyal retainer Lucia, Ike, the Hero of Tellius (a title the man had been horrified to learn he had acquired), and Rhys, a bishop from Ike's mercenary group. Beside the sickly bishop was Soren, a particularly bad tempered archsage; Sanaki was tempted to say something caustic at him, but she was slightly afraid of his own biting sarcasm. Only Ike seemed to be immune to his best friend's temper. Queen Nailah sat a comfortable distance away from Soren, and she sat right beside her, making the group a total of seven annoyed, frustrated, and incredibly powerful people all in the same general area.

This was no fated to end well.

Twenty minutes later, Empress Sanaki's mood had not taken a turn for the better, but she was sorely tempted to join Ike and Queen Nailah's impromptu game of poker. Unfortunately, her pride refused to allow her to participate in such an obscene sport, though she was sure she could have convinced it if not for the fact that the two were half-naked, their discarded clothes littering the ground. Instead, she sat primly on her throne, sneaking glances at Ike's very well-defined chest; from across the room, she could see Soren staring shamelessly as well.

The fun was ended though by Lucia, who nudged Elincia, managing to startle her out of her glazed-eyed ogling of Queen Nailah's exposed midriff. Sanaki shut her eyes, barely managing to quell the urge to just leave already, as Elincia discreetly wiped her mouth before standing. The Crimean Queen took a moment to collect herself (Nailah had lost another hand, as well as most of the rest of her shirt) before speaking in her best I'm-an-innocent-princess voice.

"Everybody?" As expected, no one paid any attention to her, save for the loyal Lucia and the bored Sanaki. "Everybody?" Elincia repeated, managing to catch Rhys' attention. "Hey, everybody! Less focus on the stripping, more focus on me speaking!"

Sanaki clapped sarcastically to herself as Soren shot the queen a venomous glare before turning back to the free show, where Ike had removed his omnipresent headband. Sanaki tutted; apparently, Ike did not have a Brand on his forehead. One less conspiracy for her to ponder late at night, though that wasn't to say that he might not have one somewhere else. After all, most of the Branded she had seen had been much stronger than the average Beorc, and no one would doubt that Ike was freakishly strong for someone who was supposed to be a swordsm-

Sanaki hit her head quite painfully as she jerked back, a blur of silver shooting past her to impale itself in the great doors of the hall, snagging Ike's cloak and Nailah's shawl on its way. Her heart pounding, she glanced in terror at the door, where Amiti was proudly stuck in it at an odd angle. What the - Amiti wasn't a ranged weapon!?

"Are we all going to pay attention now?" Elincia asked sweetly, her eyes flashing dangerously. The group nodded as one; who knew what other secrets the queen had up her sleeve?

"Good," Elincia said in satisfaction. "Now, we are all gathered here today for the first session of the ALA, a group developed so that all its members could have a place to come for solace, support, and alcohol, if necessary. It is my hope that, together, we can all become the best of friends, willing to overcome our differences in nationality, personality, and species so that we can aid each other when our lovers are being bastards and/or bitches.

"As such, I would like to begin the first session of the Avian Lovers Anonymous."

Her speech finished, Elincia jogged over to her sword, wrenching out of the door in an impressive show of strength, before walking back to her seat. "So, who wants to go first?"

"Go first with what?" Rhys asked curiously, blushing slightly as the other six turned to look at him.

"I don't know," Elincia replied, waving her hand carelessly. As she had yet to sheath Amiti, the gesture was a little more dangerous than usual, forcing Lucia to duck quickly.

"Wonderful," Soren snorted, pulling a book out from inside one of his robes. It met the same fate as the door, Amiti flashing through the air to impale the precious tome. "That was a Rexcalibur tome," Soren hissed.

"And this is me not caring," Elincia said shortly, not bothering to retrieve her sword once more. "This group of ours needs to be based on a willingness to work together."

"Despite none of us wanting to be here," Ike muttered. "Or needing to be."

"As I was saying," Elincia ground out, somehow managing to still sound calm and composed despite the annoyed tick forming over her left eye; Sanaki chalked it up to queenly experience. "We need to be able to work together for the betterment of all here, and that means no reading, and especially no strip poker while we are together." No one missed how reluctantly the last complaint was tacked on.

"So we all just sit her and stare at each other until you finally come to the realization that this is a bad idea?" Sanaki smirked; even Elincia wasn't safe from Ike's disdain.

"No," Elincia snapped, her charming smile never leaving her face. "We sit here until you decided to stop being so pig-headed and finally give this thing a chance."

"So we're sitting her forever," Ike said sarcastically. He barely managed to dodge the silver blur aimed at his head. "What the!? Amiti is over there!" Ike exclaimed, pointing at Soren's ruined tome.

"Silver sword," Elincia said as an explanation, before turning to her vassal. "Lucia, if you would?"

"Of course, Queen Elincia." Unlatching two of her own silver swords, Lucia traded them to her queen in return for some vulneraries and an antitoxin.

"I can keep this up all night, Ike," Elincia threatened grimly.

"Oh yeah?" Ike challenged, his hand straying for Ragnell.

Lucia's sword rasped against its sheath as Elincia drew it, holding it at ready. "Yeah," Elincia grinned. The group shuddered; the queen had been spending a little too much time with the Greil mercenaries.

Sanaki sighed, drawing one of her weaker fire times. Channeling the spirits around her, the Empress summoned a wall of fire between the two battle-ready Crimeans. "Were you not just talking about working together, Queen Elincia?" Sanaki said, letting the wall dissipate after a minute.

"Thank you, Empress Sanaki," Elincia replied, taking her seat. Ike flopped to the ground muttering something under his breath, Nailah laughing at his apparently amusing diatribe. "If anyone would like to say something _positive_, then they may. It does not have to be related to our group; an icebreaker will be fine."

"I'll go then," Nailah said, leaping to her feet. "Rafiel and I have been together for many years now, and I enjoy fucking him each and every night, sometimes in the morning too. Our sex life has gotten better each and every year, Rafiel's stamina is wonderful for a heron, you know, and I am completely content with our relationship. The end."

The room was silent as the Wolf Queen flopped back down, a smug grin on her face. Sanaki could barely resist laughing at poor Rhys' burning red cheeks.

"...Thank you for sharing, Queen Nailah," Elincia said with a blush of her own, coughing into her fist. "Would anyone like to go next?" Ike raised his hand eagerly, a roguish grin on his face. "And a little less obscenely too."

Ike's hand dropped, a frown on his face. "If you thought that was obscene, you've seen nothing yet."

Elincia sighed, pinching between her eyes. "Perhaps we can discuss how we all met our lovers; why we were attracted to them, and things of that sort. And please try to keep it clean; we are shooting for a teen rating after all."

Soren stood up next, surprising everyone. "I met Reyson four years ago following our failed attempt to rescue him from _Oliver._" The group shivered slightly at the undisguised hate in the petite archsage's voice. "I thought he was a complete and utter selfish jerk, and a prissy one at that. Shortly after, he proved me wrong, taking a blow for me in combat, even thought it injured me greatly. He was my first patient, as I had reached the sage level just that battle, and I fell in love with him then and there. We kept our relationship secret for three years until just four months ago, and I have no complaints whatsoever."

Everything was silent once more, this time in shock at how much the quiet man had spoken. Many of them could claim that he had not spoken to them more then ten words before now, and to here Soren say so much, and to here such emotion-tinged words from the normally unexpressive man, was startling. The only one who was not shocked, Ike, watched his best friend with fond eyes, happy beyond all belief that his friend had found someone who gave him the love he deserved.

"Thank you, Soren," Elincia said softly, giving him a smile he did not return. "Would anyone like to go next?"

"I will, Queen Elincia," Lucia said firmly, her face unreadable save for a flicker of determination. Ike glanced at her, a curious look in his eye. His blue eyes darted over to Rhys, only to see the same determination in the bishop's stance.

"I will go as well," Rhys said with no shyness in his voice. Ike sighed, cracking his neck as he stood with the other two.

"I suppose we might as well just round out the set," Ike said carelessly. "I will go after them."

"Thank you." Elincia smiled, glad her meeting was going well. Though she had had her doubts, it seems like things were really picking up pace, and already secrets were starting to be shared. Though many, including some in this very group, might have thought her idealistic, she truly did hope that this session brought them all together. As for any future consequences, well... those would reveal themselves in the following hours.

"I will start then," Lucia said. The group turned to face her expectantly, and she drew in a deep breath. "Here is how it began..."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucia, Rhys, and Ike? Who are their mysterious lovers, and how are they all connected? The mystery; the tension (unless you actually read the pairings note at the top, that is)! All your questions will be answered next time on... _Avian Lovers Anonymous!_

Yes, yes, it's OOC-ness mixed with fluff/WTF-ness. It's only going to get better/worse from here. It's all up to you to decided if you like this or think it is a piece of horseshit. And yes, the fourth wall is always fun to break, though Sanaki needs to be careful of the cracks she is making; I've heard that pieces of the Wall are pretty heavy and we wouldn't want her sarcastic little inner-monologues to be cut off thanks to a particularly bad placed piece of reality-plaster, no?

Any, reviews are lovely bits of loving love that I love with all my heart. So please review!

Ariaeris~

Ps: All you people who are waiting for your requests to be filled and probably hate me for writing this: I haven't forgotten you either! All shall be done, in the end! I promise!


End file.
